When you desire to counsel or advise someone, it is befitting that you are personable with them by using kind statements and nice speech that will allow your speech to enter and open their heart to your speech. Notice that while Luqman was advising his son, he used beautiful speech, an effective method, and words that would enter his heart. Look at the words he used with his son while advising him. You will find that the phrase “Oh my dear son” is repeated throughout the advice because this phrase has an enormous impression on the son; it affects his soul and it aids him in being attentive [so that he may] completely benefit.
Speech will have the greatest impact if it is accompanied by affability. As for the speech that is devoid of affability – for example: if a person said, while counseling or warning, “oh boy!” or, as it has been mentioned about some of them when they speak to their son or prohibit him from something, they call him by the names of some animals. So how will the heart of the one being advised be opened with the likes of this type of speech that insults them? No doubt this will close and alienate the mind. Therefore, there is a far cry between using this method and warning by implementing kindness as Luqman did in his statement to his son: “Oh my dear son” – [stated] with compassion and fatherliness, and sympathy and mercy so the heart would open.
Also, pay attention to the compassion in the hadeeth of Mu’adh ibn Jabal. The Messenger of Allāh salAllāhu ‘alayhi wasallam took him by the hand one day and said to him, “Oh Mu’adh, verily I love you.” Mu’adh replied saying: “By my father and mother, oh Messenger of Allāh, and I love you.” He salAllāhu ‘alayhi wasallam said, “I advise you, oh Mu’adh, to not neglect to say at the end of every prayer”
Allāhumma a’inee ‘ala dhikrika wa shukrika wa husna ‘ibadatika
“Oh Allāh, assist me in remembering You, thanking You, and worshipping You in a good manner.” [1]
Therefore, he began with affability and kindness in order for him to accept the benefit and to open the innermost part of his heart and to prepare him to accept it. Therefore, this is a must when calling to Allah and when teaching the people good.
Footnotes
- Collected by Ahmad (22119), Abu Dawud (1522), An-Nisāī (9937), and declared authentic by Albanī (7969)
- Transcribed from: 50 Points of Benefit Extracted from the Story of Luqman the Wise| Shaykh ‘Abdur Razzaq Al Badr
Tawheed First 
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